What the Heck am I thinking

I've decided that I want to wrestle and make a run for the 2012 London Olympic Games. However, there a few minor details that I need to work out before I even take myself seriously, let alone the rest of the world. 
1) It comes to no surprise for anyone who has seen me lately, I'm a bajillion pounds over my competition weight. 2) I'm not sure where I can get some good wrestling practices in 

3) The national tournament and Olympic qualifier are a little more than 4 months away. 

I have my work cut out for me..... I retired from wrestling in 2008. I had a great career with lots of memories and no regrets. Let me make this clear, the purpose of my return to the mat is in no way, shape, or form to redeem myself. During my career I did everything I could to make sure I could put my best foot forward for competition every time I stepped out on that mat. I have no regrets. My return to the mat has more to do with closure. My career ended abruptly because I wasn't prepared to handle the politics that come with working with an organization like USA Wrestling, and I wasn't sure how I could make my career work with out them (we'll get more into that later). More importantly, since my career ended,  I feel scattered.  I move from one place to another every few months, work dead end jobs, and I don't use the skills I acquired from wrestling so long. I feel I need to center and refocus myself.  The last time I felt focused, centered, and sure of myself were the days I spent wrestling. This is why i'm making a run for the next Olympic Games. This is an attempt to get my life back on track of pursuing excellence, to relearn what I need to or didn't get the first time time around. So when I return back to "normal life," I wont settle for this mediocrity.  So that I expect more from myself with how I pursue my work, who I choose to love, or who I let in my life, etc. etc. 

Now, My goals are a little different than last time but lets me be clear. I intend to do everything I can in the time I have to prepare to be the best and I intend on succeeding